Whispering The Unspoken

You’ve ever had some accuse you of doing something that you aren’t doing? Or saying you said something you did not say at all? Throw accusations that you cheated, lied, you’re a bad parent, you are toxic, you are a narcissist, you did this, you did that, you are this, pointing their finger – you, you, you, and the list goes on.

This is a very common thing for narcissists to do. It’s called narcissistic projection. This is when they points their finger at you, claiming and accusing you of doing things you did not do at all. It’s a complete lie.

Now, this can be very frustrating, and you may feel the need to defend yourself from such accusations, understandably so, but I need you to realize something.

All accusations from a narcissist are confessions.

When they are projecting, accusing, and pointing their finger at someone for doing some outlandish thing that they literally didn’t do or say, the narcissist is confessing their own actions and behaviors. They are literally unconsciously telling on themselves when they project onto others.

The reason why narcissists do this is because it’s a defense mechanism. They are shameful of who they really are. Shame drives who they are and why they act the way they do, but it is not clearly expressed that way as they hide behind masks and a false sense of superiority.

Projecting their own internal shame, feelings of worthlessness, and insecurities onto other people. This can lead to people feeling inadequate, at fault, and carrying shame that isn’t theirs. They want you to feel how they feel about themselves. That’s why they project.

One thing I learned to completely dismantle narcissistic projection is self-reflection and self-awareness.

• Self-reflection – Take a deep look within yourself and reflect on your own behaviors and actions. Put your ego aside (which may be hard for some to do, but you can’t self-reflect properly if ego is in the way) and reflect on how you act.

Now, I want to note that we shouldn’t ever internalize narcissists projections, or anyones for that matter, but if anyone is saying you act a certain way, don’t get defensive. Reflect first. Pause and ask yourself, are they right? Do I act that way? If not, then they are clearly projecting and you know how to self-reflect.

• Self-Awareness – This follows self-reflection. After reflecting on who you are and how you act, you now have a strong foundation in your truth. You now know that what the narcissist is saying is false, and is instead about themselves.

This is your power. This is you standing strong in your truth and knowing exactly who you are and how you act or behave. This is how I went from crying and stressing about why the narcissist is saying I am this and that or did something I did not do. I did not do that. I am not that. I know who I am.

If you still doubt yourself or believe the things narcissists say about you, because I know how it feels to be gaslit into oblivion and believing the narcissists lies about your own self, it also helps to confide in others close to you and ask them for their unbiased opinion. This is what helped me tremendously. Self-reflecting on who I truly am, being self-aware of who I am, and asking those closest to me what they truly think me, which strengthened my initial thoughts I had about myself.

~ Whispering The Unspoken